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Queen of Environmental Club

Meet Rosy!

Rosalee Tatiana is your typical high school junior…medium height, medium intelligence, and moderately popular. Nothing special and not a complete outcast. Just…typical. That’s what she thinks anyway.

Rosalee has been striving to stand out, emerge from the masses, and find her day in the sun since her freshman year in high school. In search of this goal, she tried math club, leaving in disgrace on the tails of a bad case of number envy. Then she tried being the manager for the football team, but soon discovered she was averse to sweaty, stinky socks and towels. So, in desperation, she started a fashion club. Amazingly, her Farmer Dan overalls and tube top with rainbow hued high-tops didn’t quite catch on.
Who knew?

But all of that was behind her now. She had finally found a way to join the cool kids. She'd hit the mother lode of popularity.

She'd joined Environmental Club.

Unfortunately for Rosy, her involvement with EC has brought a new kind of challenge into her life. Rival factions of Earth fairies have taken her under their wing…so to speak…and some of them aren’t too keen on her continuing to breathe. And the good ones…the ones who aren’t trying to kill her…oh yeah, they just want to make her their Queen.

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Excerpt

Pert and pretty Sandra Smithers swayed up to the podium at the front of the room and placed a sheaf of papers onto the document rest. I figured the pages were covered with stick-man portrayals of Seth Parker, our uber-handsome quarterback football star, whom she was dating. Sandra could barely speak the English language, let alone write it.

That’s not to say Sandra was from another country. She wasn’t. She’d been born just a few miles from Forest High. But when she was growing in her mother’s womb, all the DNA, including the junk that was supposed to go to her brain, had apparently been hijacked to build Sandra’s phenomenal physical attributes. Her boob DNA had apparently sold real estate with the claims that it was softer and more comfortable there. Whatever. The end result was that Sandra’s physical attributes made boys forget to breathe and swallow their spit…and her brain struggled just to remember her name.

And now she was going to address the room. I couldn’t wait.

“Um.” Sandra began. Boys stopped whatever they were doing and sucked in air, just in case their lungs ceased to function.

Sandra giggled and her boobs danced happily.

Drool could be heard hitting the tiles all around the room.

“Um, okay.”

Sandra was on a roll. She glanced at her friend Becca Fromme, who, though very pretty in a normal, non-breath stealing and drool free way, had normal brain DNA.

“Why-are-we-here?” Becca mouthed audibly.

Sandra giggled again and bronchial tubes around the room twisted in airless agony. “This is environmental club.” Sandra’s pretty pink lips curved in a smile that showed all of her perfect white teeth. “Welcome!”

Sandra swayed back to her seat and, almost as one, the boys in the room sucked air and swallowed.
I looked at Cia and she grinned.

Becca took the podium next and began stating the rules and goals of the club. I listened carefully and Cia made notes.
Nobody else made notes. But I was glad Cia did so I could look at them later in case I forgot something. I was really gonna give this environmental thing a good run. Hopefully I could finally succeed at something I tried.

Despite my good intentions, as Becca droned on I started to fade. My stomach grumbled and I looked around guiltily, hoping nobody else had heard.

That’s when I noticed him.

I’m not sure how I’d missed him up to that point. I mean he was sitting right next to me and he was the male version of Sandra Smithers. When I looked at him my lungs clenched and drool pooled in my mouth.

Refusing to lower myself to the subhuman strata of the human male, I forced myself to swallow.

He turned to me when my gaze landed on him and grinned, showing me a deep dimple on each cheek and soft grey eyes with long, auburn colored lashes. His eyes sparkled when he smiled.

He was gorgeous. I looked at Cia and jerked my head, rolling my eyes in his direction helpfully. Cia looked at me as if I’d lost my mind and returned to her note taking.

I turned back and he was gone.

Hmmm. What up? I wrenched myself around in my seat and looked toward the door, just in time to watch the heel of a black sneaker disappear around the edge of the door.

All I could do was wonder why he’d left so suddenly.